So this is my second round at this thing.. that's right, it is just you and me, blog!
It has been around a week since I posted- go me for getting back on this train quickly! A few exciting things have happened so I thought I would report here.
You know, before that, I should probably clarify. There are those cutsey girls that have food blogs- fashion blogs- makeup blogs- shopping blogs. That is not me. Sorry for the total and utter let-down on a pretty theme that is consistent through the ages of the interwebs, it just won't happen. Call me unintelligent or unmotivated, either way- it just won't happen.
This weekend was a fun-filled doozy. My mom flew into town, which is always exciting for me. Lots of shopping (I know, I said this wouldn't be a shopping blog) and just quality girl talk time. It was interesting to, for the first time, feel like I had the kind of relationship with my mother where we are mother and daughter, but also friends. Having her open and honest opinion of real-life issues, whether it is her children's dating lives, health issues in the family or politics.. it was nice to just sit and talk to her in a way that we both respected each other for our opinions. In a silly sense, it was sort of like a milestone (or just miles) from what it used to be.
But, like she used to be, she was my biggest supporter this weekend when I had a dodgeball tournament on Saturday. I played in the Burt Renold's tournament in Silver Lake, and I have to say I had a ton of fun. A long and grueling day of ducking, diving, dodging and throwing- it was a complete blast and the reward was reaped upon winning the entire tournament. What was interesting for me, was that along with my mom being a supporter there for me, John, (a new dating potential) showed up to cheer me on too. I have to say it was the first time in a LONG time that someone I have dated has cared enough to show up to something that mattered to me. It was refreshing, and scary. I am not sure if it is normal to be scared of support, but I suppose it is often easier to give love than to receive love, right?
Later that night, my mom, John and I all went out for dinner and drinks with the rest of the dodgeball society. What a fiasco THAT was. While I played nurse, my mom and John had around 3 hours of pure talking/bonding time. They seemed to get along well and seemed to be holding interesting enough conversation- so I thought that was a step into an interesting direction for me.
That being said, it leaves me here wondering. If I am scared- is it because I care about this person, or because I don't care enough? I find myself often avoiding time with him because he makes me NERVOUS. While he is eager to hang out and spend time together, I keep him very much at arms length. I almost wonder if there is just simply something wrong with me. We have a date on Wednesday- one that he is very excited about. I would like to indulge here, but really, I can't. It is a surprise. I have been simply informed I need to dress nice for it. Annnnd, cue more nerves on 3...2...1.
So while I try to reach my hand into the stars of romance I sit here and ponder my normalcy. Maybe to fear is to care. And maybe fear is natural. Either way, I am giving this thing a go- there is nothing to lose.
Shine on, and carry on.
-K
So this is where I begin..
So this is it- I finally caved (thanks, Melissa).
Over a glass (or three) of wine last night, it was decided I was going to have a blog. To begin with, the idea of a blog seemed silly. Juvenile maybe? Not because of the fact that it is a blog itself- but because I know the issues that seem to "irk" me the most. Somehow these issues then turn into the things I am most likely to publish on the internet.
I am a passionate person who is loyal to the day I die. But sometimes, it feels good to get aggression out in the digital world. Maybe this is because the majority of my friends would never see this. Maybe the notion of a one-sided argument is appealing. Or maybe, I am just growing up and learning to express myself inwardly AND outwardly to those that I care about and to the world around me. Who knows.
All I know, is that if I keep this blog going, it will be interesting to come back to years from now and say, "wow, THAT is what worried me back then"? Back-tracking your thoughts always seems to be an intriguing art that allows for more inner growth, and a potentially happier future.
So for now, that is where I leave it. I clearly don't have anything better to say as of yet, but as time churns on, I am sure there will be more junk sitting on my mental shelves.
So make it a great day, take a spill- and just always remember to "Shine On".
-K
Over a glass (or three) of wine last night, it was decided I was going to have a blog. To begin with, the idea of a blog seemed silly. Juvenile maybe? Not because of the fact that it is a blog itself- but because I know the issues that seem to "irk" me the most. Somehow these issues then turn into the things I am most likely to publish on the internet.
I am a passionate person who is loyal to the day I die. But sometimes, it feels good to get aggression out in the digital world. Maybe this is because the majority of my friends would never see this. Maybe the notion of a one-sided argument is appealing. Or maybe, I am just growing up and learning to express myself inwardly AND outwardly to those that I care about and to the world around me. Who knows.
All I know, is that if I keep this blog going, it will be interesting to come back to years from now and say, "wow, THAT is what worried me back then"? Back-tracking your thoughts always seems to be an intriguing art that allows for more inner growth, and a potentially happier future.
So for now, that is where I leave it. I clearly don't have anything better to say as of yet, but as time churns on, I am sure there will be more junk sitting on my mental shelves.
So make it a great day, take a spill- and just always remember to "Shine On".
-K
